And I bid you a very grateful farewell...
NAKED BIKE RIDE.
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DInner Crashers
36 rules of life...
Some of these are priceless and very fitting... to my life at least.
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
1 4. Men are from earth. Woman are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world .
25. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved it’s full potential, that word would be ‘meetings’.
27. There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness.’
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
36. Your friends love you anyway.
Enough said!
English Majors!
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
I've given in to the fad...
Is there a Captain in you?
Mock Elections Come True
RJ: { ! } Bitch Ugh Its 2 Early 4 You 2 Even Be Talking 2 Me. Fuck On ' { ! }
BM: has class ALL day then library ALL night. Almost done with one semester. 17 days until relaxation. Oh wait, nevermind, I will be working.
MS: 150$ and 3 months probation! yep, I'm thinkin' magistrate millmore was lovin' me today :)
GC: At the salon from 12-5. :)
Renew Yourself: Males
Future Marketers of America
I'm in debt from paying my light bill!
The Miracle that is the Energy Shot.
As I wrote this post, I am operating on zero hours of sleep. Earlier today I had my last math tast and to put it frankly, I'm about as good at math as Amy Winehouse is at not doing drugs. I spent Alllllllllll last night studying and I owe it all to one friend: the Five-Hour Energy Shot. I know it's unhealthy and while I may be having some difficulties typing now due to my jittery hands, it was completely worth it. I was able to fully prepare myself for my test and still feel alert. I'm sure at about 2 P.M. later today I will collapse faster than David Hasselhoff drunkenly on a cheeseburger. That's not the point though. I find it interesting, as well as semi-frightening, that some company has concocted a substance that gives my body a false sense of alertness. The side effects might not be worth it though. Maybe next time I'll just try speed....
SHE STRIKES AGAIN!!!
The Best Ideas (While You're High)
Now everyone knows UVM is pegged as a stoner school.... and rightfully so. I won't go into detail about the countless times I've passed by a group that reeks of the (ahem) illegal substance. Check out Highdeas.com, a website devoted to sharing some of the most brilliant deductions made by people "under the influence".
Here are some personal favorites:
"a gateway drug, but if you switch the A and the E, you get a get-away drug"
"If you say 'beer can' in a British accent, you're saying 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent....mind officially blown."
"How Do You Jump Up AND Down??? You Can Jump UP Or Jump DOWN. You Cant Jump Up And Down."
"okay before we ever excited, we technically were little sperm right? it was us, and all of the other sperm cells competing to get the the egg first, and whoever did was created into a human being and the other sperms died off. so technically we are all the winning sperms! WE ARE ALL WINNERS!"
Just Because....
Great for any occasion! Graduations, grocery shopping, funerals! YOU NAME IT. Keep on strokin', America.
Outdoor Living
New World "Records"
Everyone has a weird trait… like this guy with the most elastic skin.
If you lack talents or genetic advantages, join a crowd.
Create a World Record and a YouTube sensation simultaneously with the largest simultaneous Diet Coke and Mentos geyser.
See, Books Aren't Just for Reading!
Check out this crazy art, created entirely out of books. It's hard to believe that some of these images aren't photoshopped, but the website insists they're 100% real. I'm not gonna lie, it'd be pretty awesome to have one of these pieces lying around my house. Check out more HERE.
BallDroppings' Music Experiment
Call me cold and hearless... but COME ON Taylor!
Supposedly This is Considered Avant Garde....
HOKAY, so, this is the earth...
Advertising DOs and DON'Ts
Water!
Crazy Weather
The Eyeballing Game
Should I delete my Facebook? ...that is the question..
Bouncing Bear
THE easiest way to wast time...
Renew Yourself
Cure Your Boredom With UVM
Piano Stairs?
I. LOVE. WALMART.
-Ch Ch Check out peopleofwalmart.com. I personally have nothing against Walmart. I, along with most of America, shop at Walmart for nearly everything we need. This site is simply a satirical social commentary of the extraordinary sights found at America’s favorite store. The website also justifies its outrageous photos in a fairly articulate and respectable manner. 'We are trying to have some fun here and there is a difference between someone who is mentally challenged and a person who has a fu Manchu and is still rocking MC Hammer pants". Walmart is Americana baby, ENJOY IT!
Here are a few personal favorites...
If Procrastination had a God, This Would Be It.
My Hat and Glasses
This kid has been all over Michigan campus, primarily michigan state, central michigan, and western michigan. His main goal: get as many people as he can to take a picture with his hat and his glasses. The group was started April 25th and it just for fun and totally random. As of today he is at 3,560 pictures, all of them mainly of intoxicated students at house parties or tailgates. I found two of my friends while clicking through the pictures, it was weird but hilarious. Check them out for yourself.. My Hat and Glasses
Controversial Photographer, Sally Mann
The following photos were all taken by Sally Mann, and they are all of her children. Sally Mann adjusted exposure so that all of her photos were black and white. Also, another interesting fact about the photographer is that she uses a 5x7 camera that used to be her fathers. I am still debating how I feel about these and they have been quite a controversial topic over the years. Critics are uneasy about these photographs as well, however, Mann states that the photos seem natural through the eyes of a mother, and that she has seen her children in every state. Feel free to leave comments on your opinion... does Mann cross the line, or is this art?
Liu Bolin: The Invisible Man
Liu Bolin, from Shandong, China, manages to camouflage himself in any surroundings, no matter how difficult they might be.
Liu works on a single photo for up to 10 hours at a time, to make sure he gets it just right, but he achieves the right effect: sometimes passers-by don’t even realize he is there until he moves.
Bolin says his art is a protest against the actions of the Government, who shut down his art studio in 2005 and persecutes artists. It’s about not fitting into modern society. Despite problems with Chinese authorities, Liu’s works are appreciated at an international level. Basically, he's a total badass.
The last one is particularly epic.
Bathroom Pranks
Dove Campaign For Real Beauty
Hilarious Headlines
Many Antiques At Senior Citizens' Sale
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Thieves Steal Burglar Alarm
Robber's Description: Man, Possibly A Woman, Definitely Ugly
Voluntary Workers Strike For Higher Pay
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
...and the list goes on and on. For more Hilarious Headlines click here and I promise you will waste plenty of time.
See, This is Why You Shouldn't Play World of Warcraft...
In the video below, a boy's mother deletes his World of Warcraft account. The boy's reaction is absolutely hysterical. His little brother sets up a video camera to record his reaction. I like to think if I was in the same situation, I would be clever enough to do the same thing. This video is indescribably wierd, but SO FUNNY.
How Many of Me?
There are 44,481 people named John Smith in the United States. There are 967 people named James Bond, 102 people named Harry Potter , 433 people named George Bush, and 31 people named Emily Dickinson. However, Johnny Cash (32 people) songs aside there are, statistically speaking, very few boys named Sue.
What about you? How many people share your name? Enter it HERE and find out how many of you there are.
This Art Is Cah-Razy
If you don't think about how gross this concept is, it's actually pretty cool. Check out more HERE
Hipster (def.): Someone who is so noncomformist that they are just like the rest of the people that are noncomformists
When we were given the task of thinking of a topic for our manifestos, I played around with a few ideas. Somehow, I decided writing about hipsters. My friend Ben showed me the most epic website ever to jog my memory on the topic: latfh.com. The acronym stands for (L)ook (At) (T)his (F)*cking (H)ipster. So put on your V-Neck T-shirt, crank up some Animal Collective and bask in all your hipster glory...Beware though, this post is so unoriginal and mainstream.
"It's Really Difficult to Open Mayoniase When Your Fingers are Covered in Your Own Blood"
We've all seen those dreaded informercials. The bright camera lights shine on the obnoxiously clean, fully equiped studio kitchen. Cheeky hosts greet viewers with permanent smiles. Check out this MADTV skit parodying these commercials....except in this situation the "three-minute meal" turns into an epic distaster.